Happiness has an expiration…

…so does sorrow.

People say that life is unfair, but I can say that life is fair enough.

I had a talk with a good friend over dinner about happiness and sorrow. She asked “why do I always look happy?” And then I tell her this story..

I wasn’t happy because in the past couple weeks I was being in a heart breaking situation while I dont even have a heart to break. I got dumped 8 hours before my flight back home in a foreign country where he lives by my two weeks fling with reason that I am not good enough for him and we are in a very different level and we care about different things. Doh! Are you blind or stupid? We are different from the beginning and who was ever say I want to be your wife?

I told her the story over laughter as if its the funniest thing in the world but indeed it is the funniest thing in the world.

But the fact is, did I cry or did I really laugh?

At the moment it happened, I didnt laugh or cry. All I think was, what I suppose to do for the rest 8 hours before my flight while he left me stranded on the street and I got really shock because I wasnt expect that. What kind of person who does that? Well now I know that there is a guy who has no responsibilites at all and someone who can ditch his responsibilty in a blink of a eye.

I didnt blame him for what he did to me. Maybe thats the way he is, maybe it is me who deserve that or million other reason that made it should be happened.

But one thing for sure that I believe, happiness has an expiration and so is sorrow.

I was happy when I was with him, he made me happy and laugh, I thought he was a really nice person and I enjoyed every moment with him but too bad my happiness with him was just too brief, and when the happiness is gone, so does him. And the feeling replaced with grief and sorrow of losing him.

So why I can still look happy after? Because the sorrow that he left on me doesnt have to stay long. It expired as brief as the happines he brought.

Happiness and sorrow are just moments in life that replace one another. Sometimes it stays long sometimes it doesnt. It doesnt really matter because what really matter is the person. I wish I can find someone who can stay permanently in my life as a friend, as a lover, as a husband, and even the happines has gone and replaced with sorrow, he can still stay, coz thats the thing that can make life beautiful..

The man who (is going to) sold the world

We passed upon the stair
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn’t there
He said I was his friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long long time agoOh no, not me
We never lost control
You’re face to face
With the man who sold the worldI laughed and shook his hand
And made my way back home
I searched for foreign land
For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazeless stare
We walked a million hills
I must have died alone 
A long, long time agoWho knows?
Not me
I never lost control
You’re face to face
With the man who sold the worldWho knows?
Not me
We never lost control
You’re face to face
With the man who sold the world
(Nirvana – The Man Who Sold The World)

I dedicate this song to the man that I believe one day is gonna sell the world. The man whom has million poker faces, the man who always switching his emotion on and off, but the fact also the man that I was fascinated with.

I don’t know why I somehow always attracted not only to a man with brain but to a man with high arrogance. A man with devil smirk and dark fantasies, a man who is willing to trade his soul to the demon, but on the other hand, this man can make me weak and lost myself under his control.

He lured me with his intelligence and his passion to hold the world in his hand. I can see his desire burning his soul to ashes, I can feel his power embrace his veins, I can dive in his eyes and see how much he wants to own the world, and when I’m with him, he dragged my soul to the deepest hole where I can’t even have control of myself and found myself lost in his hand.

He is going to get what he wants and he will not let anyone stand on his way, he is going to go straight to hell just to dance with the devil, and from the first time I hold him, I know, I was just face to face with the man who (is going to) sold the world.

Dedicated to: Mr. Lawyer