Happiness has an expiration…

…so does sorrow.

People say that life is unfair, but I can say that life is fair enough.

I had a talk with a good friend over dinner about happiness and sorrow. She asked “why do I always look happy?” And then I tell her this story..

I wasn’t happy because in the past couple weeks I was being in a heart breaking situation while I dont even have a heart to break. I got dumped 8 hours before my flight back home in a foreign country where he lives by my two weeks fling with reason that I am not good enough for him and we are in a very different level and we care about different things. Doh! Are you blind or stupid? We are different from the beginning and who was ever say I want to be your wife?

I told her the story over laughter as if its the funniest thing in the world but indeed it is the funniest thing in the world.

But the fact is, did I cry or did I really laugh?

At the moment it happened, I didnt laugh or cry. All I think was, what I suppose to do for the rest 8 hours before my flight while he left me stranded on the street and I got really shock because I wasnt expect that. What kind of person who does that? Well now I know that there is a guy who has no responsibilites at all and someone who can ditch his responsibilty in a blink of a eye.

I didnt blame him for what he did to me. Maybe thats the way he is, maybe it is me who deserve that or million other reason that made it should be happened.

But one thing for sure that I believe, happiness has an expiration and so is sorrow.

I was happy when I was with him, he made me happy and laugh, I thought he was a really nice person and I enjoyed every moment with him but too bad my happiness with him was just too brief, and when the happiness is gone, so does him. And the feeling replaced with grief and sorrow of losing him.

So why I can still look happy after? Because the sorrow that he left on me doesnt have to stay long. It expired as brief as the happines he brought.

Happiness and sorrow are just moments in life that replace one another. Sometimes it stays long sometimes it doesnt. It doesnt really matter because what really matter is the person. I wish I can find someone who can stay permanently in my life as a friend, as a lover, as a husband, and even the happines has gone and replaced with sorrow, he can still stay, coz thats the thing that can make life beautiful..

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The quest of finding “The One”

In this past three months and more, I’ve been struggling to find “The One”..

Yes, the one, the perfect one for me, the best and one and only for me, the one that makes me comfortable and confident with, the one that can give me satisfaction and the most important thing is, the one that NOT ripping my hair off!

I’m talking about finding the right shampoo for me, becoz apparently all the shampoo that I bought makes my hair falling out more, and its so frustrating, I can afford losing the man that i’ve comfortably slept with without any promising future but I totally cannot afford of losing my hair, this is a freakin’ nightmare! The worst of the worst ever!

I couldnt sleep at night, I’m pretty anxious and brought the fear into nightmare, literally, i was had a bad dream of being bald. Its totally not cool and woke me up in a big sweat and fear! Please God , no!

I ¬†might not having a pretty hair like all the girls in Kerastase ads, but experiencing my hair falling out every time I wash it is the worst thing I cannot face. I know I’m being dramatic and my friends say so, i’m the most dramatic person ever, but, I’m telling u, I cannot afford losing my hair, I’m a woman, and hair is a crown for woman, and I’m not gonna lose it ever!

Well, here it is the trails of my quest finding the right one, a.k.a the right shampoo for me, even for now i havent found it, but here we go :

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Kerastase Dermo Calm Shampoo (Image by google)

Honestly I have a big expectation about this shampoo. Becoz of the high reputation of the brand, the exclusiveness and the expensive price. I’m a lil bit got too far dreaming about having a thick, long and bouncy hair after using it but the fact, it scared the hell out of me.

How could it be?

Yes it indeed proved what it said of taking the good care of your scalps bcoz i can go through two until three days without washing my hair and I didnt feel any itch or uncomfortable feeling for not washing my hair for three days but whats scared me was I lost a big amount of hair while shampooing.

I was freaked out, like literally freaked out until my best friend told me to get easy coz its probably nothing coz hair is normally falling out while shampooing but no way girl, I cant get easy on this.

I have tried to use this shampoo for a week and more and my hair fallen out in a big clump and this really freak me out to hell, I even literally cant think anything else but my hair, but the price of this stuff cost me makes me not really easy to just give it up. But after few weeks I couldn’t help it to testify my hair falling out for more, so with the biggest heart I can deal with, I have to give this baby away to my best friend. So sad, but c’est la vie, U cant keep up with the things that makes u miserable and losing much more than u can afford even it already cost u lost of fortune. Too bad, the fancy Kerastase is not my “the one”.

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L’oreal Ever Strong Thickening Shampoo (image by google)

My second quest that I found in Singapore.

I was terribly shock while using Kerastase dermo Calm causing me lost lots of hair while shampooing, so I immediately tried to swept it with whatever I can get at the moment.

After a long walk in Singapore with my sister and from drugstore to drugstore that drained my sister’s patience coz I coulndt pick my choice to any shampoo and just kept reading the label, I finally gave my shot to this one.

It claimed to be able to restore your falling hair and make it thicker in 30 days, ,and plus its sulfate and SLS free. So I’m trying to back to nature and give it a go.

Well, at first, it gave me a very fresh feeling to the scalp, refreshing, and just like Kerastase dermo calm, this shampoo doesnt want to make me feel to wash my hair everyday, even after work out, I know its kinda gross, but indeed I feel not necessarily washing my hair every day, my head feeling fresh and cool, But, I still have something bothering me about this shampoo.

First, its not available in my country, its ridiculous tho to make a trip to Singapore every now and then just to buy a shampoo, and its an extra effort to ask my brother to buy it for me and send it to Jakarta which is a big no for him to do that. And second how could i depend myself on a thing that I cant get in here? So while experiencing with this one, I already started to look for another one.

And weeks goes by I feel not really comfortable using this shampoo, guess what? This thing also ripped my hair off, just like Kerastase one, so once again I freaked out. I cant handle my hair keep falling out of my head!

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Organix Awapuhi ginger shampoo (image by google)

Then I moved one to this one. After reading tons of reviews of my possible future shampoo, I pick this one out, once again non SLS and Non PABA. I read about the SLS is a total damage for your hair and back to nature thing, so it could be a good choice.

I also have a big expectation about this thing but the fact I do always have a big expectation about everything, not to mention a guy, hehe, I thing big expectation is a bad thing for me, so later on I will not (at least try) have any expectation of things (or guy).

So is this shampoo did a good job for me? I dont know yet. But I already stopped it bcoz I experienced itchiness and somekind of dump and sticky on my scalp and also my hair still falling out, in a big amount.

Actually it smells good, thats the pro but the cons is far more that I can handle, or face.

I dont know whether the itchiness on my scalp happened becoz of using this shampoo or bcoz of other thing such as natural aloe vera that I applied to my hair as a natural treatment, but so far I cant stop scratching my head during the day, omg, I’m pretty much like a monkey. So then I decided to cut my hair shorter and forget about my dream to have a long bouncy hair, I have to take care of this problems soon.

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The Body Shop Rainforest balancing shampoo for oily hair (image by google)

Out of desperation, I found this one. Well not actually the thing that comes in my mind after reading tons of reviews, i just accidentally stepped in The Body Shop counter when i was at the mall and after a few minutes reading the labels and even not quite sure bcoz my hair isnt oily, just the scalp but my hair more like dry, I decided to bought this one and push all my luck of my hair in this hand of this bottle.

SLS free, Paraben free and non animal testing, it should be natural and harmless so I took my chance on this one.

After few days using it, its actually not really bad. It stripped my hair and I felt squeaky clean after washing my hair but when I aired it dry without any flattening iron or blow drier, my hair seemed fine.

Until this night, the nightmare came back. I dont know why, its been more than a week using this body shop shampoo and last night, i cant help scratching my head bcoz of the massive itchiness that I felt on my head. God help! I cant even sleep and decide to wash my hait in the 00.30 am in the midnight, horrible! I dont know what happen to my head, and while I’m scratching my head of course my hair fallen out, many of it!

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Spinach Shampoo By Mustika Ratu (image by google)

This is the last thing that I used to wash my hair last night. Its actually not mine, its my sister’s shampoo that she left behind in my ¬†mom’s bathroom before she left to Sweden to be with her husband.

It says that its formulated for hair fall, so what the worst thing I could get from this one.

This is the cheapest one from all the above shampoo that I have ever bought and plus, I didnt buy it, hehe.

Maybe i should go for the local brand than the imported stuff that I usually likes to buy. Maybe cheaper thing can do a better job than the luxurious expensive ones.

I have been changing 5 shampoo for the 5 past months, no wonder my head and my scalps seems and feels stressed out.

I know I have lack of patience handling problems that occurred in my life and my quick of change of decisions doesnt make any good of anything and so far didnt solve the problems.

It may not seems a big deal for anyone but it is for me. And from the overall point of view and in general, finding the right shampoo is more likely as hard as finding the right man, no kidding.

U cant keep using the shampoo that just make your hair worse and falling out more and more each day, no matter how expensive it is, same like man, u cant stay with the man that keep your heart breaking each and more day no matter how promising he is.

Oh God please help.. help me find the right shampoo and the right man at the same time, it would be a big win :p

Wish me luck..

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I have to cut it short