First of all, don’t get misunderstood with the title that I wrote above. No, I am not going to give you all some kind of tips about how to keep a man, and no (again!) I don’t want to write about how and what I do to keep a man because the truth is, I barely know how to keep a man.
I truly do not know how to keep a man yet I am still single all along. Sometimes I wonder, is it because I am too ugly? but then I see everyone uglier than me can get a (fine) man and live happily (ever) after. Then I thought maybe I am too smart, but just a few weeks ago I failed an IQ test for a new job interview.So what then? Am I too dumb, well, I see lots of dumber girls who cannot define between ‘existed and excited’ being praised like a goddess. So what do I have so wrong in here?
One of my good friend told me over a pint of beer that if I want to recognize my mistake why every man I know run backwards after they get to know me, I should watch a movie called “The Ugly truth”, yes the Gerard Butler movie, that one..
Well, I dont mind to have a Gerard Butler of my own hehe..
But that’s not the point I think. Even after I watched the move I realize I did something or everything that the girl on the movie did, minus the Gerard Butler of course.
And let me tell you something and everything that I always do, that might be the biggest turn offs that made all the men (not so much actually) turned their backs on me for good.
- I have been told, men like independent women, strong women, and women who know what they want. I never ask anything from them, I always offer to pay my share on the bills when we dated or when we have a vacation (even the smaller part). I never asked to be picked up, I never ask for money and I mostly told them what I want from the start (love, relationship, commitment, sincerity, presence and attention), but yet, still they choose women who obviously have more attraction to their safe deposit than the commitment to be made together.
- I always show the affection, nonetheless. I always available anytime anywhere anyhow for him.But is it make him come closer? Nope, it’s quite the opposite.
- I told them “I love You’. Yeah, believe it or not, I did. Not because I do really love them, but just so I wont lose them. And yet, I still lose them.
- I did whatever they want me to do, I said whatever they want to hear, I made the effort to communicate everyday, every night,and every millisecond of my breath I dedicate to the man that I (claimed) love.But in return, they run backwards as fast as they can to get away from me.
So what my mistakes here?? As I naively asked my friend. Even I definitely and soberly know exactly what I did wrong. EVERYTHING. I did everything wrong.
I tried hard to be loved, I tried hard to get love, I even become a manic control freak over every situation that involved a guy that I like to create the romance between us.
Well, i dont know what turned me into that, maybe too much pressure inside me, not too much love I got from inside my family, or terrible past that i cannot learned from yet, maybe lots of things that I can’t even explain myself, I dont understand…
But one thing I want to understand, I want to love myself more than my needs to be loved by someone else so this kind of thing, will not happen again in my life. So I dont need any validation from someone else to be loved, I dont need any proof from someone else that I am myself worth to be loved, and I feel enough and confidently feel that I love myself enough not to put myself in any situation that make me feel less worthy than anyone or anything else… I need to love myself before I can ask someone else to love me…